During my first trimester, I was researching, interviewing, and coming to terms in my own soul with what was right for me in terms of a provider and birth plans, I chose to not share my home birth considerations with basically anyone other than my husband and support groups online. I highly highly recommend this. During a time of decision making, it is important to not be subjected to a million opinions OR other people’s negative, traumatic experiences with birth and their own fears. I have spent a lot of time growing into a person who can stand on her own two feet and not give a shit about what other people think about me or say BUT, when in a vulnerable space such as being pregnant…and making these personal choices, I believe it’s important to protect that space spiritually and mentally. The use of DISCRETION is key. Even throughout the second trimester I chose to not tell people because…well, it didn’t feel necessary and I was still moving through some tests and things that could’ve risked me out of prepping for a home birth so I didn’t think it felt “real” enough to even share.
I’m 31 weeks pregnant and I feel differently. I made it through the decision making process of the first trimester as I gained tons of information and I spent the second trimester settling into it all myself, and in the third trimester now, I feel confident in my choices and am super excited about birth! I also want to normalize my choices (as a home birth plan is new for me given my first was a desired natural birth turned c section due to frank breech at 37 weeks). I do want to share all this info I have learned as well to other women but also know that might not be my place, or the time yet. Another place to use that lovely word DISCRETION. Other women may want a scheduled c section, an induction, etc. and that is cool, more power to you. I’m not trying to push for all women to have natural births. I just hope there is more real informed consent happening around all of it one day…for example, every women actually being told the risks of an epidural to mom and baby or how inducing labor changes labor and has a high rate of leading to c section or how our posture affects baby’s positioning the whole pregnancy.
Off on a tangent again…So, I am now openly sharing my home birth plans to people if 1. they ask specifically, and 2. I feel capable of detaching from their reactions. Being in the preparation phase for birth now, I do mostly feel able to detach from others’ reactions because I just don’t care what others think but…I’m not about to get into debates about it or try to justify my choices to skeptical, fearful people. There are still some people I won’t share it with because, well it’s a personal healthcare and family choice that really isn’t anyone’s business. But just like everything on the pregnancy journey, my perspective has now shifted and Im in the space of being excited for our plans, super happy with my provider (a home birth/birth center midwife), and wanting to normalize the process for myself, because, contrary to our culture, it is normal and I believe in physiological birth.
What are your experiences with this? Sharing or not sharing birth plans (whatever they may have been) and what worked for you?
Birth and Botox 