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Yoga: First vs Second Pregnancy. Sthira/Sukha Imbalance

Anonymous BirtherLeave a comment

I’ve been an avid vinyasa yogi since 2009, practicing 3-5 times a week (or more in the early days). I taught for 4 years somewhere around 2011-2015. During my first pregnancy in 2017/2018, I continued my vinyasa practice (which at that point had stopped being practiced in a heated studio) but was still a rigorous vinyasa overall. It was a little more balanced and restorative than my earliest years practicing as yoga really started to infiltrate my philosophies, but again, still strong. I built my Sthira in my life and practice first. It was the dominate side of the coin in most areas of my life. During y first pregnancy, I maintained my inversion practice, planks, downdogs, steadily throughout my whole pregnancy. I primarily attended “Vinyasa All Levels” classes in which I would modify as I felt necessary and sometimes took the more advanced classes because I could still. I had/have a “strong” physical yoga practice. I took a prenatal yoga once a week as well but I always felt “not challenged enough and that it was just not enough of what I needed. I probably practiced 3 times a week, maybe only 2 towards the end. I believed I was modifying appropriately (not doing closed twists, not going onto my stomach obviously and doing lots of cats/cows while the class was doing other stuff. I was taking it easier than normal but… still going into my flow with steady strength. That’s how I knew how to find my mental and emotional strength, through the physical. Of course I’d also try to soften as well, but I’d say I proceeded with “my normal” of tapping into sthira with my asana practice. I felt great afterwards, and never felt pain indicating I should be doing otherwise. I do recall a prenatal teacher talking about how it was important to not do planks because of too much abdominal work and rarely called for them, even with knees down. I of course, modified to maybe not doing the “push up” when in regular classes but still holding the plank steadily and inverting easily because I had the ab strength. I thought that her suggestions were more for people new to yoga…not someone who knew her practice and body well.

Well… hindsight is of course 20/20 and I know that there were many factors involved in having a breech baby with baby #1 (genetics included as my father was breech, born vaginally of course bc it used to be a normal OB occurrence), and the universal plan for me and my son bc it’s led me down a new path, BUT… I am fairly sure that my insistence to remain strong in my practice (which meant a strong core) hindered the space available for my baby to turn when he needed to. I have learned SOOOO much now through Spinning Babies, books, others’ experiences, midwives, true prenatal yoga, chiropractors, and acupuncturists specializing with pregnant women…about how the ligaments and muscles around the abdomen/back/thighs/buttocks obviously can become tight, and restrict the proper body balance necessary for baby to do it’s thing. Hell, I get tight in my hips/pelvis just walking a lot all day. No I do not believe that I directly made my baby breech because I practiced vinyasa yoga. I do think though that the overall way in which I approached my yoga practice, with rigor, was also how I approached a lot of my daily activities. I was active. I know being physically active is a positive for pregnancy, but I did not focus on SOFTENING as well or really changing my level of normal during the new physical experience of pregnancy. I thought I did, but knowing what I know now, I didn’t really. By softening I mean, turning it down a notch (or two or three), slowing down, doing less, not walking full speed all day at school up and down halls as I was a teacher at the time (I definitely still did that), or saying no to more stuff/events/people. I didn’t slow down much, because it didn’t seem necessary. I also dealt with moving apartments twice during pregnancy and prepping a home (which of course I still took on a lot of myself…well because I could and why wouldn’t I? I was a strong capable pregnant lady.)

I am now 23 weeks pregnant again and my mantra is “It’s Safe to Soften.” I am looking at that other side of the coin. I am inviting in more sukha. Strength has never been something that was hard for me. Softening is, and has been. It’s definitely a spiritual process, and I’ve softened a lot in the last decade for sure, but again, it still hasn’t been my normal.

The ways in which I’m tangibly softening are:

1. Doing less (For example. I am not practicing vinyasa yoga in general. I have totally shifted my asana practice to be walking daily, chasing a toddler, picking him up and down and playing on the floor with him, and attending one 75 minute prenatal yoga class in which we talk for like 15 min of it and focus primarily on going inward, meditating, making noise, and moving slowly. We only traveled for Thanksgiving, and will not travel now again until post baby… who knows when. We aren’t having out of town family visitors until after baby after like a month. I am focusing on family time and keeping it simple with daily activities. I go to bed a max of two hours post my toddler (before 9 pm every night).

2. Prayer and meditation. I am aware of my need for more softening so I am inviting it in with my prayer and meditation with my concept of a Higher Power.

3. I am visualizing my body soften and opening and releasing old stress or emotional baggage.

4. I’ve done therapeutic things to do #3. (example was telling my birth story of the c section for more healing from that experience).

Whatever happens on this pregnancy journey this time now…I am learning how to balance my sthira and sukha better. Some progress…

Co-Care: What a concept!

Anonymous BirtherLeave a comment

Oct 23, 2019: 16 week appt with OB

I saw my OB today (one of three main male doctors recommended for vbacs in the area) for the 3rd time (8, 12, 16 weeks) and discussed my plans for transferring to a midwife for the rest of my care for planning a home birth. I was very happy with the experience and his willingness to meet me where I am at, be honest that I have a very “uneventful” pregnancy going on (a good thing), and he said I can come back and see him towards the end, before labor, perhaps at 35 weeks if I wanted. ( I had asked him if he’d be open to that should I want to.) I was super happy with this “co-care” methodology and I believe it’s how all maternity care should be which is: flexible and going with the needs and desires of the mother as well as treating the pregnancy as it is, a low risk, normal pregnancy (regardless of one prior c section due to breech). He gave high remarks about the two midwife groups I told him I was considering and spoke highly of his hospital which is five minutes from my house should I have to transfer there during birth. He said it was the best hospital around for taking homebirth transfers. He shared how some other “good” hospitals around would not be so open and ok with it. You would be met with a tone of “oh another one of those homebirthers are here” kinda a reaction at many hospitals which is obviously not cool. I wouldn’t be able to cal him in labor, but if later in the pregnancy things change and I am high risk, then I’d switch back to seeing him or see both him and the midwife. He normalized the whole thing for me which in my head I can sometimes think, “I’m the first to be doing this.” Absolutely not. I am a normal, pregnant woman, with nothing showing up of concern. It is natural for me to not need medical interventions. It’s just against our cultural norms now of everyone going to an OB and all births “needing” hospitals.

Prior to my experiences in the last four months, I never even realized I could have co-care, which essentially means I can see who I need to see without an “allegiance” to one provider. Call me crazy…but that sounds like how it should be. I’m hoping we can see a shift to more of this in our country to lessen the amount of unnecessary interventions, which lead to c sections, and trauma many women experience with birth… midwifery care for most pregnancies unless/until the pregnancy necessitates medical interventions, and therefore an OB. Medical interventions and good OB’s are gifts to this world for the moments that are actually necessary.

I’ll see where I’m at by the end of this pregnancy. Perhaps I’ll actually need an OB or a hospital, and I will then seek it out. But for now, it appears that all is well with my pregnancy, and I believe in normal, healthy physiologic childbirth.

Have anyone else had a positive experience with establishing co-care with a midwife and an OB?

Quick reference: The following is an excerpt from the Journal of Perinatal Education.

“A normal physiologic labor and birth is one that is powered by the innate human capacity of the woman and fetus. This birth is more likely to be safe and healthy because there is no unnecessary intervention that disrupts normal physiologic processes.17 Some women and/or fetuses will develop complications that warrant medical attention to assure safe and healthy outcomes. However, supporting the normal physiologic processes of labor and birth, even in the presence of such complications, has the potential to enhance best outcomes for the mother and infant.18–,21

Normal physiologic childbirth

  • • is characterized by spontaneous onset and progression of labor;
  • • includes biological and psychological conditions that promote effective labor;
  • • results in the vaginal birth of the infant and placenta;
  • • results in physiological blood loss;22
  • • facilitates optimal newborn transition through skin-to-skin contact and keeping the mother and infant together during the postpartum period; and
  • • supports early initiation of breastfeeding.1

The following factors disrupt normal physiologic childbirth:

  • • induction or augmentation of labor;23–,25
  • • an unsupportive environment, i.e., bright lights, cold room, lack of privacy, multiple providers, lack of supportive companions, etc.;26,27
  • • time constraints, including those driven by institutional policy and/or staffing;28
  • • nutritional deprivation, e.g., food and drink;29
  • • opiates, regional analgesia, or general anesthesia;30,31
  • • episiotomy;32,33
  • • operative vaginal (vacuum, forceps) or abdominal (cesarean) birth;6,34
  • • immediate cord clamping;35–,37
  • • separation of mother and infant;38 and/or
  • • any situation in which the mother feels threatened or unsupported.39“

Home Birth or Birth Center?

Anonymous BirtherLeave a comment

Oct 22. 2019: 

I originally thought a birth center must be an “in between” option for a hospital and home birth, but with further research, it’s basically like a home birth, just not your home and without the drive in labor. It’s like going over to your friend’s house to give birth or to a nice hotel. So the question becomes, which one is more comfortable for me? I asked the midwife who gave me a tour today of a brand new birth center that accepts vbac patients (the first that I know of within 30 min of me).  We discussed how we live in a culture that makes it “normal” to go to an institution to give birth so it may feel more comforting to go to a birth center than stay at home for some women. So, it’s basically just the mental element. My issue here now (as I am again debating my choices since my first midwife may not be able to take me on) is that how the hell can I know what’s going to be more comforting to me when in labor since I’ve never experienced it before? 

I am going to make a pros and cons list to help me decide. Here it is:

Mental PROS for home birth: 

  • no drive anywhere 
  • my son can be at home and can meet baby right away and have dad at least check in on him while someone else is his caretaker during labor so the home is more family centered in that way. 
  • I’m most familiar with my home therefore I am going to be comfortable there 
  • memory of birth in home
  • 6 min drive to good hospital that midwife said was a good one to transfer to should I have to
  • No abrupt changes during labor to help my odds of staying in labor without setbacks. 
  • No one else laboring in rooms nearby possibly. 
  • All my stuff is there and can have lots of food/drinks etc./ no packing of goods

Mental PROS Birth Center:

  • Our culture has ingrained “going somewhere” as the normal thing to do so this could perhaps feel comforting
  • no prep in my house
  • They are pretty, calm rooms, a deck/tub/bed and bathroom all close to one another, everything is set up already once we’re there. Terrace for night air laboring outside.

Mental NEGATIVES for Home birth:

  • Managing dog and other son too in small house with multiple midwives/students attending the birth (issues that can be solved though with boarding dog near due date)
  • Getting someone reliable to watch my son while we’re laboring at home, and who I am comfortable with as anyone who is in the home has to be a “safe” person to me and someone I am very comfortable with

(both of these seem like logistical issues that can be figured out closer to birth: board dog, hire a doula in training or something to be a sibling doula)

Mental NEGATIVES for Birth Center: 

  • other people around besides birth team
  • potentially other laboring moms in rooms next door
  • seeing people out in public in general in active labor
  • My son won’t come there
  • mental prep of driving through 5 contractions car in active labor, could cause setbacks to labor

My CONCLUSION:

Seems like home birth is the better option for me.

Something Different

Anonymous BirtherLeave a comment

Oct 20, 2019 : 16 weeks pregnant with baby boy number two. (I posted it on Nov 9 shortly after starting the blog).

Giving birth is probably the most basic human truth and experience. Somehow, the US has managed to get in the way of that (not really a shocker) and over time women have been taught to fear birth, and be led to believe that we need lots of medical help to give birth (myself included, until recently as a 37 year old woman.) I have learned that that is not the case. I am going through the journey of trusting in myself and mother nature to have faith in the process of birth. I do wish that I had started to research our climate of birth well before getting pregnant…but I did not.

When I was pregnant with my first son in Chicago, I remember talking to my doula about home births and how they aren’t even “allowed” in Chicago. (Which, first off… let’s think about that word “allowed.” So as a woman, my own body, I need to get permission from someone in how I want or need to give birth to my baby? Hmmmmmmm… something’s not right here. We hear this phrase all the time… “my Dr wouldn’t allow me…” ) EDIT: So I guess CNM’s can attend a home birth in IL but other midwives (like the ones in 35 other states) can not, so it is still extremely limiting. https://www.nprillinois.org/post/illinois-rules-leave-mothers-little-access-experienced-midwives#stream/0 Anyways, my first doula shared her positive experiences giving birth at home in Chile and how it was “the norm.” At the time I thought, “well I for sure want a natural birth, but home birth…now that’s too out there for me. Doesn’t everyone go to the hospital? Just in case?” I just didn’t want a c section. I was at least knowledgeable enough to be aware of the c section crisis in our nation with my first pregnancy and how the typical cascade of interventions tend to become c sections. I didn’t want to become a part of the statistically alarming over 30% cesarean rate in the US. I had the opportunity to witness this through many of my friends’ experiences who had kids before me as well as have some time to research all these stats, but that knowledge still didn’t save me from it. Knowledge only gets you so far. It’s only a part of the equation. I am however extremely grateful to this experience which taught me a healthy dose of acceptance and mental strength because it started me on this path of discovery that I am now on. I did the best that I could with the information I had at the time. Now, I am in the midst of my journey with my second pregnancy. We moved to California from Chicago 4 months ago, and I’m 4 months pregnant. You can do the math. Apparently the salty ocean breeze and our anniversary weekend in July evoked baby number two from picking us from the heavens. He liked our situation down here and wanted in! This time around I have been like a freaking detective (slightly obsessive mom) gathering all of the facts surrounding a vbac (vaginal birth after cesarean) and my options both within and “outside of” the hospital/OB system. I spent all of pregnancy number #1 preparing for a natural, unmedicated birth which ended up being a planned c-section due to frank breech and now I’ve spent 4 months REALLY putting in the time to make my first important choice: choosing my provider for care. 

This time around I know I need more than knowledge to move into this second birth. I need:

1. Knowledge: evidence based facts. 2. Empowerment 3. Support (or a “crew” if you will, and access to the right kind of crew for that matter). Now living in southern California, I am grateful to have many more choices than I did in Chicago. I am also in a position to be able to afford some of the different options I have here as many women are not, and therefore very limited to their healthcare options for their most basic human experience of giving birth. Since insurance is a huge pain in the ass, most holistic care providers, such as midwives, are “out of network” so I need to pay out of pocket and hope to get some reimbursement afterwards. (Again, not surprising in our climate today where women have to fight for their rights STILL and many think that a woman’s body is open to debate). I hope one day pregnancy will return to being seen as a natural, physiological event and not a medical emergency or something that laws/insurance can dictate how a woman chooses her birthing options. Let me be clear that I am not saying that every woman should be doing a home birth. They shouldn’t. It’s not a one size fits all situations. My issue is how our culture tries to force the hospital birth with an OB (who is a SURGEON) as the norm, for low risk, healthy pregnancies.