January 3, 2020. I am now 27 weeks pregnant with baby number two.
Around six weeks ago I filled out a questionnaire for my midwife which we will review this upcoming Tuesday. The first question was “What are your top fears about this pregnancy/birth?” I knew right away. 1. That this baby will also be breech and I will not have any choices (like my first) except to have a c section.
My first ended up in a cesarean section due to late finding of frank breech positioning and “low fluid” (I put this is parentheses because this is kinda in line with the whole “big baby” fiasco going on in maternal care, typically being an unnecessary (lack of evidence) cause for intervention. (see earlier posts about my first pregnancy and look up the ACOG’s new position on the big baby thing: stating that ultrasounds can’t accurately depict size. Yes. thank you for all the unnecessary surgeries due to your earlier position on it. lordie.). Sidetracked there… I now know SOOO much more about optimal fetal positioning and the need to look at pelvic alignment and balance and relaxing the ligaments surrounding the uterus to give baby optimal space to turn and the various ways to do that. (A topic that isn’t fully addressed in 10 min prenatal OB appointments or CNM hospital groups in my experience. They very lightly touch on things AFTER the less than optimal positioning presents itself. Teaching optimal fetal positioning and ways to prevent variations that aren’t medically supported usually isn’t a part of basic prenatal care in the first and second trimester especially. (Over my two pregnancies so far: I have experience seeing a top OB at a major “good hospital,” a CNM group with a smaller but good hospital, a private practice OB known to be “natural” and vbac friendly, and a regular midwife. By far, the midwife has been the most holistic and knowledgeable and presenting me with all my choices and giving me preventative care as opposed to “let’s fix this” afterwards.)
I’ve been seeing a regular chiro and then a Webster certified chiropractor since 7 weeks. We just started doing twice a week actually around 26 weeks. I have gone to acupuncture with a guy who specializes in pregnant women around three times so far and plan to continue every few weeks. I’m doing a handful of Spinning Babies exercises/stretches daily at home, such as the forward leaning inversion, and focus on just walking and caring for my toddler as my exercise. I’m seeing a supportive provider, a midwife. I joined ICAN and my local chapter. The more I learn, the more passionate I become about the need for changes to women’s rights and choices with maternal healthcare in the US.
Now… at what point is too much? or too much focus on this breech prevention? or wanting to become an activist as I am prepping for this birth?
Well… As I near third trimester, I think I’ve hit my self imposed limit of research for now. I just deleted the Facebook App from my phone so I don’t read posts so often from my support groups because I find it just makes me think about it more. In the last 6 weeks since I’ve answered that question about my fears, I’ve concluded that if I end up with the circumstance of baby presenting head up towards the end (like 35 weeks), that I would first try more things to turn (but not an ECV bc of prior experience) and seek out a vaginal breech provider who does attend home births if not and if he thought I qualified for a vaginal breech birth. (If an OB would attend my birth at a hospital near me I’d do that instead but they don’t exist where I live unfortunately. I’ve looked into it.). After all my fact finding, I now believe having a csection just because baby is breech is not usually a necessary csection. (sometimes it does necessitate one… but it’s not a black and white, always needing one.) My first baby never showed any signs of distress while in breech position at the end. I have felt that truth. It’s more a lack of skilled providers being “allowed” to attend the vaginal breech birth which is a recent phenomenon in our history. I think I would have a hard time consenting to something that some providers will do and others won’t. That lack of continuity makes me see it as a policy issue and not a health or safety issue, or what’s in the best interest of mom and baby. However, me dwelling on this limitation in our health care system keeps me in a “fight or flight” stance because I get angry. I know that being in fight or flight is ANTI optimal baby positioning and labor. It’s like me being in defense of the giant bear outside my cave when I am preparing for birth, the modern day threat: the healthcare system. It’s not what my mind or body needs. This also brings me to the conclusion that although I want to begin advocacy work for more options for breech birth as well as vbac and home birth in general, I think being in “fight or flight” with the system, as it gets me all riled up to think of our current state of options, isn’t the best for me while preparing for this next birth. I will jump on board more post birth to do my small part in making some changes. Even just sharing my experience now feels like a bit of a contribution.
So, I’ve done a LOT of gathering and now it’s time to have faith that baby will be head down and try my best to let go of the outcome. I will only do more research now when a new decision presents itself. I have enough facts and information about my birth choices and breech in particular and have taken a lot of action.
My third trimester mantras: Think positive. Be present. Safe to soften. Take the actions for body balancing for baby as I have been doing, but trust it is working. Talk to baby. Relax. Limit my Facebook group time. Protect my mental and spiritual space surrounding this with healthy boundaries and discretion. Have faith and surrender.
Birth and Botox 