Something Different

Oct 20, 2019 : 16 weeks pregnant with baby boy number two. (I posted it on Nov 9 shortly after starting the blog).

Giving birth is probably the most basic human truth and experience. Somehow, the US has managed to get in the way of that (not really a shocker) and over time women have been taught to fear birth, and be led to believe that we need lots of medical help to give birth (myself included, until recently as a 37 year old woman.) I have learned that that is not the case. I am going through the journey of trusting in myself and mother nature to have faith in the process of birth. I do wish that I had started to research our climate of birth well before getting pregnant…but I did not.

When I was pregnant with my first son in Chicago, I remember talking to my doula about home births and how they aren’t even “allowed” in Chicago. (Which, first off… let’s think about that word “allowed.” So as a woman, my own body, I need to get permission from someone in how I want or need to give birth to my baby? Hmmmmmmm… something’s not right here. We hear this phrase all the time… “my Dr wouldn’t allow me…” ) EDIT: So I guess CNM’s can attend a home birth in IL but other midwives (like the ones in 35 other states) can not, so it is still extremely limiting. https://www.nprillinois.org/post/illinois-rules-leave-mothers-little-access-experienced-midwives#stream/0 Anyways, my first doula shared her positive experiences giving birth at home in Chile and how it was “the norm.” At the time I thought, “well I for sure want a natural birth, but home birth…now that’s too out there for me. Doesn’t everyone go to the hospital? Just in case?” I just didn’t want a c section. I was at least knowledgeable enough to be aware of the c section crisis in our nation with my first pregnancy and how the typical cascade of interventions tend to become c sections. I didn’t want to become a part of the statistically alarming over 30% cesarean rate in the US. I had the opportunity to witness this through many of my friends’ experiences who had kids before me as well as have some time to research all these stats, but that knowledge still didn’t save me from it. Knowledge only gets you so far. It’s only a part of the equation. I am however extremely grateful to this experience which taught me a healthy dose of acceptance and mental strength because it started me on this path of discovery that I am now on. I did the best that I could with the information I had at the time. Now, I am in the midst of my journey with my second pregnancy. We moved to California from Chicago 4 months ago, and I’m 4 months pregnant. You can do the math. Apparently the salty ocean breeze and our anniversary weekend in July evoked baby number two from picking us from the heavens. He liked our situation down here and wanted in! This time around I have been like a freaking detective (slightly obsessive mom) gathering all of the facts surrounding a vbac (vaginal birth after cesarean) and my options both within and “outside of” the hospital/OB system. I spent all of pregnancy number #1 preparing for a natural, unmedicated birth which ended up being a planned c-section due to frank breech and now I’ve spent 4 months REALLY putting in the time to make my first important choice: choosing my provider for care. 

This time around I know I need more than knowledge to move into this second birth. I need:

1. Knowledge: evidence based facts. 2. Empowerment 3. Support (or a “crew” if you will, and access to the right kind of crew for that matter). Now living in southern California, I am grateful to have many more choices than I did in Chicago. I am also in a position to be able to afford some of the different options I have here as many women are not, and therefore very limited to their healthcare options for their most basic human experience of giving birth. Since insurance is a huge pain in the ass, most holistic care providers, such as midwives, are “out of network” so I need to pay out of pocket and hope to get some reimbursement afterwards. (Again, not surprising in our climate today where women have to fight for their rights STILL and many think that a woman’s body is open to debate). I hope one day pregnancy will return to being seen as a natural, physiological event and not a medical emergency or something that laws/insurance can dictate how a woman chooses her birthing options. Let me be clear that I am not saying that every woman should be doing a home birth. They shouldn’t. It’s not a one size fits all situations. My issue is how our culture tries to force the hospital birth with an OB (who is a SURGEON) as the norm, for low risk, healthy pregnancies.